My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize