I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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