So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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