when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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