The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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