I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize