I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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