Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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