yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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