so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize