I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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