i just google imaged poop.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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