3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
