Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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