To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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