at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
