I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wear drunk well.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
