life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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