What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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