we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
