don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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