At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
