I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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