kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize