THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
