I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are a genius and a whore.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
