ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
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searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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