conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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