WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
