He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.