White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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