Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was born a porn star she said
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
