All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
