YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
