His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
