Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
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I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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