that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
