Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize