Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+

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(404): View more from Georgia

three words: i give head

(770): View more from Georgia

three words: not that well

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(585): View more from New York

you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking

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(270): View more from Kentucky

and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown

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(760): View more from California

You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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(440): View more from Ohio

the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius

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(312): View more from Illinois

It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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(810): View more from Michigan

He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something

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