It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
