Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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