wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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