So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
