I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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