what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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