...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Alive.
So much puke
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
