Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
