He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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