no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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