I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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