I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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