there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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