sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm too high and old for this...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
