Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
