he wants to bone in the snuggie
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
