Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
