i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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