I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
