My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
