Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize