Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
