I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
