I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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