Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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