C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
